Swept Under The Welcome Mat: Diary of a Caregiver to a Spouse With Cancer

The Loneliness of Caregiving-A Storm only hit our home Being a caregiver is one of the loneliest experiences imaginable. Even when surrounded by an army of people eager to help, the isolation is suffocating. I feel like an alien in my own life, still processing the devastating reality that a terrible tumor has burst our world apart. It doesn’t feel real sometimes, and yet, it’s the only reality I know now. As a defense mechanism, we retreat into a cocoon, shutting out the world. Maybe it’s because we feel that no one truly understands—especially at a young age, when facing such an immense tragedy. It feels like a storm came through town, and our house is the only one that was hit and destroyed, while everyone else moves through their days and nights untouched. Life continues for them as it always has, while we are left standing in the wreckage of what once was. I know that people are affected. They are sad. They cannot believe that something so dire and tragic has hit our community, ou...

  Anticipatory Grief: A Caregiver’s Heartbreaking Reality Grief is often thought of as something that comes after loss—a reaction to the absence of a loved one. But there is another kind of grief, one that seeps into everyday moments, shadowing laughter and quiet embraces. It is called anticipatory grief, and it is something I now carry with me every single day as my husband battles an unforgiving and aggressive cancer. When he was diagnosed with small cell carcinoma in a rare location of his sinuses, our world was turned upside down in an instant. The life we had built together, the dreams we mapped out in quiet conversations, the future we imagined with our children, grandchildren, and beloved dogs—all of it suddenly felt fragile, slipping through our fingers before we even had the chance to truly live it. We are grieving not just what has happened but also what may never come to be. Grieving the Past, Present, and Future Anticipatory grief is cruel in its relentlessness. I find ...

The Fear of Falling: When Caregivers Worry About Getting Sick When someone we love is diagnosed with a serious illness, our world shifts overnight. Every priority changes, every breath feels heavier, and suddenly, we are not just a spouse, partner, or family member—we are a caregiver. For me, that reality came crashing down when my husband was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer. As if the weight of that wasn’t enough, another fear started creeping in—one I hadn’t fully anticipated. What if I get sick? The question circles through my mind constantly. There are so many viruses, colds, and flu strains going around. I wear two masks. I stay away from anyone with the slightest sniffle. Even my kids, who I love more than life itself, have to keep their distance when they have so much as a runny nose. I cannot take the risk. My husband’s immune system is compromised, and the last thing he needs is another battle on top of the war he is already fighting. But beyond protecting him, I a...

 When Strength Means Letting Go: A Caregiver’s Truth Being a caregiver means navigating a world of emotions, expectations, and unsolicited advice. When my husband was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer, I found myself surrounded by people offering well-meaning words of wisdom. Over and over, I was told, "Stay strong. Don’t let him see you break. He needs you to be his rock." I listened, believing that showing any sign of weakness would somehow make things harder for him. For a long time, I bottled up my emotions, putting on a brave face even when my heart was breaking. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I reassured when I needed reassurance. I played the part of the strong caregiver, because that’s what everyone told me I needed to be. The Breaking Point Then, one day, I couldn’t do it anymore. The weight of holding everything in became unbearable, and despite my best efforts, the dam broke. Right there, in front of my husband, my carefully constructed strength crumbled....

Swept Under The Welcome Mat: Diary of a Caregiver-Some Advice from Experience Volume 2   Caring for a Spouse with a Rare and Aggressive Cancer: A Journey of Love, Strength, and Resilience Life takes unexpected turns, and nothing prepares you for the moment your spouse is diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer. The world shifts beneath your feet, and suddenly, you step into the role of caregiver—one that is deeply challenging, emotionally draining, yet profoundly filled with love. The Overwhelming Reality of Diagnosis Hearing the diagnosis is like being hit by a tidal wave. Words like “incurable,” “aggressive,” and “rare” echo in your mind as you try to comprehend what lies ahead. There’s fear, grief, and uncertainty, but amidst it all, there’s also an undeniable sense of purpose—you become your spouse’s advocate, their support system, and their unwavering source of strength.  You step into survival mode and go full steam ahead, ensuring they are in the best hands and have...

\ My blogs will always focus on three important items to me and what my life revolves around every single day: Life, Love, and Health.   Each entry will revolve around one or all of these pillars.  I will also share some links of my favorite things, as it is a passion of mine to be surrounded with things that help me enjoy life, love and help with mine or my family or friends health.  I am happy to share it all with you! Life, Love, and Health: The Interconnected Threads of a Fulfilling Life Life, love, and health are the three foundational pillars that shape our existence. They are intricately connected, influencing one another in profound ways. Together, they create a tapestry of meaning, resilience, and purpose. Let’s take a closer look at how these elements intersect and why nurturing all three is essential for a fulfilling life. Life: Embracing the Journey Life is a journey—a series of moments, choices, and experiences that shape who we are. It’s unpredictable, often...